10. Thanksgiving is mass murder for turkeys.(Hat tip to my colleague Brian Hobbs for sending this along.)
9. Too many SUVs traveling to grandma's house.
8. College bowl games encourage competition.
7. Millions of Christmas trees are cut down.
6. The Pilgrims thought up Thanksgiving, not the Indians.
5. Christmas lights waste electricity.
4. People are giving thanks to whom?
3. Winter lull in global-warming hype.
2. Daycare centers are closed.
1. Christmas celebrates a birth, not an abortion.