Naturally, on Thanksgiving people tend to reflect on things they are thankful for, and this Thanksgiving it seems I have thought about this more than usual.
This past year or so has been a hard year for many reasons. It has been a wilderness year. A year when it seems as if God is silent and that, while my mind hears and knows that God is proactively out for my good, I can't quite get my heart to believe it. So it seems ironic that right now I am particularly overwhelmed with thanksgiving. It doesn't make sense to my natural mind that in the midst of this wilderness I would be most thankful. Thankful for my husband and my children. Thankful for great friends, the kind that stick with you through thick and thin. Thankful for the gospel and for Christ's church. Thankful for my parents and my family and for good health. Thankful for God's mercy and grace and forgiveness that He showers upon me not because of anything I have done, but because of everything He has done.
And I am thankful for the wilderness. Christ is using it to wean me of earthly affections and to draw me closer to Him. And I know that without the wilderness, I would be sitting here patting myself on the back thinking I have things pretty well under control, not seeing the depths of my sin and the depths of Christ's love. Without the wilderness I wouldn't be where I am today -- overwhelmed with God's love and the knowledge that He does all things well, that He is indeed proactively out for my good, and that He will never let me go.