'Mama, I Need You'

'KIDS COPE WITH STARTING NEW YEAR' reads the front-page, above-the-fold headline (in all caps) in the print version of today's Oklahoman.

"Cope" is right:

Four-year-old Jayden Rampulla gave his mom a final squeeze and then headed toward a table to play with some blocks. All was well until he realized his mom was leaving the room.

"Mama, I need you," Jayden wailed, tears rolling down his cheeks as he ran toward his mother.

Teachers gently pried Jayden from his mother and distracted him with the blocks. The tears soon dried, and the first day of school moved forward.

Jayden wasn't the only one crying Thursday as school started at Cleveland Bailey Elementary in the Midwest City-Del City School District. Several parents wiped their eyes as they left their small children behind for the day.

"It will be OK," Principal Linda Laakman comforted one mom.

This scene plays out every year in every school as prekindergarten and kindergarten students and their parents deal with separation anxiety.

Except for the fact that it's not funny, this stuff really belongs in The Onion, this spectacle of bureaucrats who have a vested economic interest in "prying" children from their mothers while trying to salve momma's pricked conscience.