As I did with all the kids when they were little, I love to lie down next to Oliver when he’s sleeping. The room is dark but there’s the faintest light from the porch or from the moon illuminating his face. So I lie next to him, my face just inches from his, and I just stare and ponder and give thanks. If I move my head ever so slightly, it causes the light to shift just enough that suddenly I see someone else, one of his siblings. If I hold perfectly still I am back in time and I am staring at little Lillie. Just hold still—don’t move—and remember the times with Lillie. It’s really quite wonderful. Other-worldly.